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To Cry Silently Is To Bleed

The Past

Oftentimes, people will appreciate your efforts -- going the extra mile to lend a helping hand, lending out your precious last money to a needy friend, spending some sleepless nights at a classmate's house to help them with preparations for the final exams because they believe that you are the best -- the list is endless; sometimes, you think (and feel) that they may have forgotten (even though, in reality, they haven't -- they are simply too busy to even spend some time sending you an SMS asking you how you were, etc.).

Always, people will never forget your mistakes -- regardless of the efforts exerted to rectify the errors in the aftermath, not to mention the seeming apathy to your feelings as a human being (and for everybody's sake, your reputation as "a friend who committed a terrible blunder").

I recall having been taught in high school, by my English teacher, and whom I still hold dear and close to my heart (she was previously a nun) -- here is something that I remember to this day: "We should look at the efforts and not at the mistakes." Then, when I entered college life, I was counseled to adhere to the precept "Less expectations, greater tolerance".

And so I ask now: How many of you would be willing to tolerate a multitude of mistakes, and see through all the myriad of countless errors to see a glimpse of "golden effort"?

Maaari bang gumawa ng tama ang isang taong lagi na lang nagkakamali? Maaari bang gumawa ng mali ang isang taong lagi na lang gumagawa ng tama?

NOBODY is perfect. Given that, we should keep in mind that "To err is human, to forgive divine". Dr. Jose Rizal mentioned in one of his writings that he had one very "strong" weakness: "Madali akong magpatawad, pero mahirap akong makalimot."

Great as Rizal was, it appears that it is easier to forgive than to forget, by virtue of human nature.

The Present

I have received two very important gifts this year (2010). I will state them in the chronological order that Destiny has given them to me:

1. I was given the gift of new friendship.

2. I was given the gift of "salvation". (This is somewhat a joke -- what I meant to say was, I was given the gift of a "new job". Hahaha... A tribute to LBM [Looking for Better Management])

Now that is something that strikes me as truly profound... gifts are also called "presents"...

I guess I must have experienced a state of "liberation" -- moving on, still looking back, but already letting go...

To the people who have made my years 2000 to 2009 meaningful and fun, I will never, ever forget you. To the others who made me doubt myself during those years, who made me cry alone, silently with a bleeding heart, and those who made me feel vulnerable -- I thank each one of you, for without the trials in life I have faced as a result of your actions, I would not have gone stronger and reached this point where I am now. Because I am only human, I forgive all of you. But like the great Filipino national hero, it will take a lifetime for me to forget.

A Tribute

It's been a long and winding journey, but I'm finally here tonight
Picking up the pieces, walking back into the light
Into the sunset of your glory, where my heart and future lies
There's nothing like that feeling, when I look into your eyes...

My dreams came true, when I found you
I found you, my miracle...

If you could see, what I see, that you're the answer to my prayers
And if you could feel, the tenderness I feel
You would know, it would be clear, that angels brought me here...

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