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11.5.10

I Cried, But You Just Laughed

I asked a friend today how he was doing: "Not too good..." was the immediate reply.

My emotional response was equally immediate. "Hey you wanna talk about it?"

"I have to finish something..."

"Ohh okay, just keep your cool and take it easy. Breathe slowly and look at something colored green... it will make you feel better..."

Stupid me -- the next thing I know, I was beginning to cry, because I was at a loss of further things to say to help a friend at need. We were not too distant from each other in terms of location, but I felt as if he was very, very far away from me... I hear him, but I cannot reach out to him... I was helpless myself, so how could I be of any further aid to him?

Then came late afternoon... stupid me again: "Hey how you doing?"

"It's end of day again. But I still have to finish something..."

"Okay. You take care going home. *some mushy words*"

"Thanks. Cheesy!"

"Even though you may not believe me, still it is true..."

"Hahaha. Okay dude."

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The asymmetry is evident. No further questions are to be asked nor answered. There is an absolute limit to which the mind is resolute and the heart will ultimately surrender. I have always followed my heart where it leads me, but these emotions have blinded me. I harken to the light to guide me back to where I began before I even decided to walk away from it. Because by then, I will not look back to the darkness I once trodded just so I could look for missing pieces of myself along the path. There was nothing to look forward to in the dark, to begin with.

"You take it too seriously..." you might tell me. And I will not disagree: I always take things seriously. Love is never a laughing matter. But I know, years from now, when I look back to the dark paths, unable to see anything from the vantage point of the Light, I will be laughing at myself. Why? Because by then, there would be a better part of me that will tell me: "You were not too bad after all. You were willing to take a calculated risk. Learning the hard way isn't always bad. Being molded by fire is akin to achieving endurance, flexibility and strength along the way. Look at you now -- are you not glad that you did not give up?"

And it's all because -- I cried... but you just laughed...
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