Search This Blog

12.7.10

Of Faults and Forgiveness

The world is changing.

When I was young, I used to always tell my mom that I wanted to become a lawyer, so that I will be able to defend her in any court for whatever reason, as the case may be. But things changed as I grew older...

In grade school, I told myself that I wanted to become either a doctor or a teacher. When I initially told my mom (over dinner) that I wanted to become a doctor, she was a bit surprised. She asked me why. I told her: "I want to be able to take care of you when you are no longer able to take care of yourself." She just smiled, and she told me that, perhaps I had a second option. I asked her: "How did you know?" She answered my question with another: "You've always wanted to become a lawyer, right?" I paused, then said: "Nah, I think all lawyers are liars." She smiled again, but this time she did not say anything. And so I told her: "I also want to become a teacher, just like my grandmother."

At these words, she looked me in the eye and told me: "I am sure you will become a good teacher." I answered, quite proudly: "Of course, I will be! I've got my father's and mother's brains combined!" Thereupon, we laughed and continued eating...

In high school, plans changed again. This time, after hearing about actuaries and their elite professional designation in the insurance industry, I immediately wanted to become one. And so, contrary to advices from various people (including my mom, my HS adviser and some very close friends) - I proceeded to study BS Math (coded MTH-AST) at DLSU - Manila.

This plan did not change throughout college. I even took a couple of actuarial exams while still studying (Exam 100 in May, Exams 110 and 140 in November of 1999). I failed one of them (it's not too obvious which one, so I won't tell), but this did not deter me from pursuing my dream of becoming an actuary.

So now, in the year 2010, looking back at what has happened to me since I graduated from college (in 2000), I realized three things:

1. The fact that you're smart and intelligent doesn't automatically make you a good teacher. While patience is indeed a virtue, there are still some things inside the classroom that will be hard to manage. As they say, silent waters run deep...

2. Learning the hard way is the BEST way. I remember having been told: "You don't have to [learn the hard way]... there are easier ways of doing things..." (By the way, that advice was unsolicited...) Looking back, if I had learned everything in the easiest possible manner, then I would not have learned the numerous "lessons" I've gotten along the way. Indeed, less expectations and greater tolerance -- always works. And we should look at the effort -- not at the mistake.

3. RCA assumes that everything that happens has a root cause. Applying RCA to yourself should start with: "Is it my fault?" Everything else will follow -- believe me, things are easier done (with RCA) that way...

After all is said and done: To forgive is not necessarily to forget... and some people will forget, but will never forgive you... but time heals all wounds, however deep... and everything changes, with time...
Post a Comment